


Haha Hatper has a CRUSHHHH

by str3sslevelzer0



Category: D&D - Fandom
Genre: Cassidy is a small little idiot, Elias is a smug bastard, Harper is even MORE arrogant than usual, M/M, Non-Canonical, Unspecified Setting, i see harper as a smug bastard i write harper as a smug bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/str3sslevelzer0/pseuds/str3sslevelzer0
Summary: elias is testing harpers patience again





	Haha Hatper has a CRUSHHHH

**Author's Note:**

> So a few things, I have genuinely no idea where or when this story takes place, so i might make it a completely different timeline/universe type thing. Second, I have been getting back into BotW so you’ll probably see that, and Lastly, Im trying to write harper in a new style, cause in my head i see him as a bit of an asshole back when he was with the thieves group

The day was a nice one, clear weather, light wind, perfect for practice. Combat needed to be practiced in all conditions, but it was nice to have an easier break every once in a while. Harper and Elias were taking a break right now to eat, but Harper was more interested in cornering Elias for information than tea. (God knows Elias needed it though, his voice was already like crunched rocks).

“Alright” Harper leaned back, satisfied. “As long as you don’t try to pull me into your crazy love schemes, you can seduce the entire village for all I care”. Harper doubted Elias would try, and even if he did- Harper already had a whole arsenal of jabs directed at the fact he had had so many partners before. Speaking of which…

“So, wasn’t just satisfied with one, hm? I used to say you didn’t know anything about romance, but who knows- with one on each arm you might just out-do me in terms of charm” Harper said, the words rolled off his tongue with a special type of arrogant sweetness that only he could manage.

Elias looked at him, unimpressed with his jab but the corner of his mouth was twitching. The soldier was unsure if he should take it as a compliment or insult, nobody ever knew with Harper. From what little he knew of Harper, it was a likely family trait. “Oh? And what do you know of romance, I’ve never seen you with anyone” Elias said.

Harper huffed, “I have much too high standards. Unless I meet someone who can match me in greatness, I can’t settle down, a riot would break out otherwise if all the lesser people started breaking my door down” Harper said, hopefully sounding sarcastic enough.

The soldier was a master at giving people unimpressed looks, but Harper was completely unaffected. Elias sat for a moment, taking a sip of tea now that it was finally cool enough.

“Elias?”

He looked up, Harper was inspecting the tips of the arrows they had, pretending to be uninterested. “...how did you know you liked Jessie? I thought you two were just friends,” he asked, curious.

Elias thought for a second, considering pointing out that he thought Harper didn’t care. He decided against it, that’d just make him clam up even more. “Well, I guess I just had to start thinking more about our relationship, the thought crossed my mind one day, what if I dated Jessie, and it just… didn’t go away”.

Harper raised an eyebrow “What, you just decided you like her?” He asked.

“No” Elias snorted, “Let me finish,” he said. (That’s what she said. Couldn’t fucking resist.)

The soldier took a deep breath, before starting. “Once the thought was in my head, I started thinking more about it. Does she make me happy? Do I enjoy her presence? Do I know her well? Would I be willing to spend a lot of close proximity with her constantly? Would I mind showing affection to her? Do we work well together?” Elias sighed “Would I be okay with… being intimate with her...” he trailed off, whispering the last part quietly.

“So… you based your relationship on a questionnaire?” Harper asked.

“LOOK” Elias snapped, grumbling a bit, “Think of the person you like spending time with the most and ask yourself those questions. What about that the other rouge, Cassidy?” He asked. Elias guessed they had to be friends if Cassidy could take an attempt at being thrown out the window on more than one occasion as a joke. (Yes, Harper tried to push Cass out of a window(Yes, it happened twice))

“Cassidy” Harper scoffed, “You must be crazy if you think he and I are anything” Harper rolled his eyes.

“Just do it,” Elias said exasperatedly. “Answer the questions. Starting off, does he make you happy?”.

He makes me crazy, Harper thought to himself, always had to be so fucking noble, and so nonchalant about it all. Cassidy could become the hero of the world and say it was all in a day’s work. But of course, the answer was yes, Cassidy didn’t have any complaints about Harper and always seemed to listen diligently, remembering things he’d mentioned only once or twice.

“I suppose,” Harper said, “He clearly tolerates me enough to be around me all day, it’s nice to have someone who is so open with their enjoyment of my general presence”. A little too open, it threw Harper off sometimes, but he still liked it.

“Do you enjoy his presence?”

“Yes,” It was comforting, just to exist near Cassidy as he ranted away all of his complaints. Then once he was done with those he just talked about what was on his mind. He was almost certain that Cassidy had heard enough about wind conditions, arrow types, materials, bows, long-range vs short-range combat, and general rouge things overall. But once again, the colorful Aarokocra just HAD to prove him wrong. “He’s not completely incompetent,” he settled on.

Quite opposite actually, while Cassidy made pretty bad decisions, he was surprisingly knowledgeable. Having been almost everywhere, not to mention he was pretty much a jack of all trades when it came to combat. (It made Harper puff with pride that stealth was his only weaker point).

“Do you know him well?” Elias asked, he picked up his bow, starting to fiddle with it.

Not as well as I’d like, he thought to himself. “Moderately well, I know he’s not an ax murderer”. An arsonist was a completely different story though, he hadn’t even known fire could shoot that far until Cassidy got his talons on a spellbook with “Fireball” inside.

“Would you be willing to spend a lot of close proximity with him? Constantly?” Elias asked.

Close proximity… that wouldn’t be too bad. Cassidy was small, he didn’t take up a lot of space, and while he wasn’t as organized as the crow Aarokocra would like, he was very strict on chore upkeep. There were always logs on the fire and food on the table with him around. He didn’t get in the way either. “He’s not the worst option,” Harper said “I at least know he’s responsible”.

“Do you work well together?”

Finally, an easy one. “I suppose so”, Cassidy was proficient in combat areas that Harper wasn’t, and the same for the opposite.

“Would you mind showing affection to him?” 

Elias asked, monotonically stating the question as he focused on his bow. A small chip in the woodwork had all his attention.

“What do you mean, like…” Harper grimaced, affection was a touchy subject.

“You know,” Elias said, “Hugging, kissing, holding him close?”

Hugging, well that wouldn’t be so bad. Harper was tall enough compared to Cassidy he could probably just rest his chin on Cassidy’s oddly soft head feathers. Not to mention the times Cassidy practically tackled him in a hug were… tolerable (wonderful).

Kissing… hm. Beaks were really weird to kiss with. But he guessed he wouldn’t mind if Cassidy did it, as long as it wasn’t slobbery. He wouldn’t stand for that. If Cassidy would be okay with it, Harper would too.

Holding him close would be an issue. Harper didn’t exactly know where to put his hands in a hug, he wouldn’t know a thing of it. It wasn’t exactly like he’d been hugged in the last few years.

“I guess yes to all three,” Harper said.

Elias suddenly looked up from where he was fussing over a knot on his hair, eyebrows high and eyes wide with surprise, his mouth hung open a little. “Really???” he asked, completely taken off guard.

“Yes, why is that so hard to grasp?” Harper said flatly.

Elias seemed to think to himself for a moment, turning to surprised but calculating. “What exactly do you feel when you look at Cassidy?” he asked.

“Wh-”

“Just humor me” Elias quickly cut Harper off.

Now it was the other turn to think hard about that statement. “He makes me sick to my stomach,” Harper stated “My chest feels light and my stomach feels like there are lizards trying to escape. Not to mention if I try to talk it gets worse and my tongue feels heavy”.

Harper found himself continuing to talk, venting turning into ranting “Not to mention I always end up talking to him for hours upon hours, it wastes all my time. And I hate it when he has to leave because I never know what he’s doing until he’s back. He’s so reckless it gives me a heart attack. Once he showed up with a bruise on his cheek and told me he just fought a Myconoid and tripped! How unbelievable is that? He can fight a Myconoid, but a trip is what ends up being his downfall? What am I going to do if he ends up tripping over a cliff?!”

“Mhmm”

“I wish he would just tell me when he’s planning to do something reckless. Every time I go with him, Cassidy does mundane stuff but I turn my back for two seconds and he suddenly has fought every single monster in the forest” Harper scoffed.

“Not to mention he insists on doing so many things for other people, WITHOUT REWARD. He made that stupidly complicated salmon dish for all of us just because we didn’t want to go to practice on an empty stomach. I mean, I won’t deny he isn’t good at cooking but... Why? Why does someone have to be so noble, I can understand doing something nice every once in a while. But is just GIVING away 110 bundles of wood to someone so they can build a town and getting nothing worth it? I don’t understand it” Harper ranted, getting more and more frustrated.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love him and all that, but why does he have to be a nice person just because? Those people are annoying goody two shoes, but he’s… not, somehow” the Aarokocra deflated.

“Love him?” Elias asked.

The two locked eyes with equally shocked expressions before they quickly morphed into both smugness and dread. “Oh, so, you admit that the questions work?” Elias smirked “I knew you liked him. I’ve never seen anyone else in your room without being chased out,” he said, a little cheekily.

Harper just sat in silence, frozen where he sat. Love? LOVE?? No, this couldn’t be it. It was a mushy heap of something he didn’t know what to do within his chest. It was… weird. He was pretty sure it glowed sometimes. It was like… some sort of softness that flared up whenever Cassidy was around. He knew he’d messed up when Elias grinned even wider at his lack of response. He quickly collected his cool. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because I don’t like you in my room doesn’t mean I don’t invite people” he grimaced, the last thing he wanted was people thinking they could invite themselves in.

“Aaaaand the mushy feelings? They’re called love, you get tongue twisted and butterflies in your stomach whenever you see him”. Elias was giving him a knowing look, the little shit he was.

“No, that doesn’t mean anything except I’m allergic to him,” Harper stated. “He’s like a bad cold, pops up at the worst times, doesn’t go away, sticks to me like a parasite-”

“Gets you in bed?” Elias snarkily said.

“NO!” Harper didn’t shriek, he didn’t. His voice just went higher because Elias was being completely inappropriate. He was clearly enjoying finally having something to poke fun at.

“I think he’d be good for you,” Elias said “You’re always so much better to talk to after talking to him,” the soldier said. “Not to mention how much you leave to see him, we all already assumed you were seeing him. He might as well just move in”.

“He’s a good training partner and he is not MOVING IN” Harper spat, getting up from his spot on the floor. How dare Elias even suggest it.

“Are you sure? He comes to your room at least 5 times a week, he’s coming tomorrow isn’t he?” Elias asked.

“NO HE IS NOT!” he was, but Harper was gonna be long gone by that time. Cassidy couldn’t fly as fast as Harper after all.

The Aarocokra made a show of gracefully taking off from the practice range. But not fast enough to miss Elias’s call of “IF IT HELPS, I APPROVE!!” behind him.

“YOU APPROVE OF NOTHING!!!”

He didn’t need the approval of ANYTHING because he did not like Cassidy.

**Author's Note:**

> swaaws


End file.
